I’m sharing this video from my bed. Why?

Watching this reminded me why. It helped me rejoin the dots creating a picture I try to resist at times because it tells a truth parts of me find hard to accept.

I have a pattern I run sometimes, which I’ve been running recently, it goes something like this.

“Ok so I stayed up too late, I’ll rest later, it’ll be ok. Ok so I ate a bit too much sugar and some other crap, my digestions upset but it’ll settle down if I get back on track, so one more wee bit won’t do any harm in the meantime! Ooops I stayed up late again, seem to be getting away with it, but yes I promise to rest today, I don’t.  Yes, yes that stuff was emotional and stressful but I’m fine, I’m fine.”

I don’t rest, I eat some more sugary food knowing it’s giving me false energy. I’m not listening to my body and now I don’t want to because I’m scared; I’ve pushed it and I’ll pay, so crazily I push on a little more.

My body eventually says, no more and it does stop me. Today it gave me a headache I could not ignore. So I was forced to lie down. I fell asleep.

After waking up I watched this video and then I really woke up again. I am reminded of the truth about me and my body and my life. When I drive myself, when I ignore the warning signs and when I delude myself that I can get away with it, I make myself ill. This is the very thing I am frightened of being. It’s crazy but true, and I know I am not alone. We throw pills at our ills and try to carry on, making the situation worse, putting even more strain on our systems and then we get really pissed off and scared when they begin to fail.

Dr. Kelly Brogan and others like her inspire me to make better choices when surrounded by a paradigm which does not support my way of looking at health and wellbeing. They are courageous enough to be standing up there and saying this is all wrong. They are putting themselves on the line, challenging the current medical model and the big business interests behind it. This is a movement which is gathering momentum as more and more of us seek an alternative to the pill touting, cut it out, poison it into submission model of so called health-care currently on offer.

It’s not that the people involved don’t care, I believe most of them do care a lot about their patients but they have nothing else to offer, they are stuck in a monster of a system which has gone down one track and it’s not the one that is about creating health and healing.

At a recent visit to my doctor to try and find out more about a health concern I have I was offered medication, when I asked what would happen if I took it and it “worked” ( read, suppressed my symptoms), would I have to take it for life? She stumbled over her words and said, “That’s all I have to offer you.” I felt sorry for her.

This is the truth, and it’s a good truth to know. If you go down that route you know what you will get.

I totally get the allure of this current model of medicine, it purports to help by offerring a pill or some other mode of treatment which will “fix” the problem. It seems so much easier than taking responsibility for our own health by changing our life-style and habits, how we live on planet earth.

But that’s the problem, it seems easier and in the short term it is, but it never solves the problem which lies beneath which will show itself again somehow. It never answers the why this happened and what we can do about it.

Where it excels is the emergency care when we will not live if something immediate is not done, right now. Then I like Kelly want taken to the nearest hospital. But for the rest, I am dubious about their ability to actually heal, treat yes, heal no.

So I’m back on track after watching this. I will continue to seek health through asking why. I will eat well and learn more about doing so, I will do my best to go to sleep earlier and for longer, to rest and to relax and most of all I will continue to work on the beliefs and patterns that interfere with my doing all this. It’s the stuff which stops us changing, which needs addressed, the reasons why we choose the “other”, even when we know it’s not healthy or helpful.

Change is a process, it’s not a quick fix or instant make-over it’s the slow uncovering of, and recovery from layers of behaviour, thinking and feeling patterns learned over long periods of time. It takes time, but the results can lead to a healthier happier you and me and ultimately a healthier happier world. When we look after ourselves better we automatically look after the world better.  The two are not seperate, we are all one and we are ONE that it is worth asking why about.

Why is this happening and what can I do about it?

The answers are out there.


‘Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease.’


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About the Author: Mairi

Radical Self Care Coach, supporting you to create a calmer, simpler, more deeply connected life where you take better care of yourself and our planet.


  1. Linsey July 29, 2016 at 8:08 am - Reply

    A very timely reminder, thanks!

  2. Seana Smith July 30, 2016 at 6:45 am - Reply

    Hi there Mairi, I will look at the video. Do you think there’s a middle ground where mainstream treatment is effective and can help effect changes that lead to healing?? I hope so very much for myself…. and also agree wholeheartedly with you that emergency care is excellent and the worse you are the better it is… but that’s for hardware issues, like hearts and broken legs… for the software issues, like mental health and ASD etc etc we can improve a lot.

    • Mairi August 3, 2016 at 1:40 pm - Reply

      Hi Seana, Increasingly I feel that mainstream treatment has gone off up a dead-end they can’t get out of. They seem to have, in the main, become stuck in symptom treatment and control to which the answer is medication. So it’s hard to see where the middle ground can be. The more I listen to, the more information I come across, the less I believe that route will lead to healing and health, in fact it almost always creates the opposite, more of what they don’t want. Masking symptoms or cutting out the problem part may feel like healing but it is not, the underlying causes remain, and I believe it is to those we need to address our time and effort. If we don’t they will surely show themselves in some other form at some other time. I don’t actually believe anymore that the software issues are cared for well at all, they are controlled or suppressed with meds but again no attempt to heal, and a staunch clinging to the notion that these things are set in stone, the die cast etc. I do not believe that, though I do believe some people are so damaged by the treatments and so called medical care they receive they cannot fully recover. Again I feel the malfunction in the software if followed will lead somewhere; nutritional issues, toxicity issues, traumas and so on. So much good work has been done over the decades but the information gets ignored or suppressed, ridiculed or discredited by those whose life and careers or profits depend on the status quo. A long answer to a complex question which could be discussed for days. X

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