‘What is it?’
‘Seaweed.’
‘Seaweed, really?’
‘Yes, I wove it.’
‘You what?’
‘I wove it.’
While weaving seaweed a year previously I was being nudged along an invisible groove in the cosmos. Somewhere outside of normal time and space dots were being joined and I had lessons to learn.
About 3 years ago someone I had mistakenly trusted tried to tell me what to do, in an area of life that was none of their business. It kicked off a solid and indisputable NO in me. NO I will most definitely not be doing that. The relationship was severed. I felt a little adrift yet empowered and mighty in my NO.
Looking back this was simply the final straw in a long line of red flags. Instead of listening to my intuition I had repeatedly dismissed my feelings, pushed away questions and squashed down my own inner knowing. I had been on my well trodden default of not trusting myself.
“Don’t run from lessons; they are little packages of treasure given to us. As we learn from them, our lives change for the better.”
Louis Hay
With the gift of hindsight I now see that, that first big NO rammed home a message I needed for the next spiritual nudge. Along came a second situation. This time I clearly heard my inner warning system switch on and I knew without a doubt I was being fed bullshit.
A cascade of self reflection and honesty rinsed me through. Again the red flags had been there and yet again I had stuffed down my true feelings too afraid to speak up, to challenge, to say NO in the face of a dominant and controlling character. I said no. Within days I clearly understood this was all showing me it was time to walk away from my coaching and therapy work.
It wasn’t retirement I’d entered it was a reorientation process.
After my last client session I went for a swim in the sea with a friend. Afterwards, wrapped up, hot drink in hand, we concluded that it wasn’t retirement I’d entered it was a reorientation process.
For decades I have pushed my creativity to th
e side. I made it play second fiddle to whatever “career” I thought I “should” be doing. The call to create continual, sometimes loud, sometimes quiet was always insistent and always there. And, I…I always shooed it away. I let a million reasons, activities and to dos get between my studio and me.
It’s not that I didn’t create, I did, I always have, but what I’m talking about wasn’t just a call, it was a calling, a beckoning from spirit, that I had known for years.
That day I walked out of the sea determined and committed to finally listen and follow.
More about this story will follow as I lead up to a project I am about to embarked on. Suffice to say the seaweed weaving was a crucial part in this story. Nature spoke and I listened.
“You will never follow your own inner voice until you clear up the doubts in your mind.”
About the Author: Mairi
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