In the past I could or would not create space in my life. My water tight way of living made sure no rogue thoughts or feelings seeped through to upset things.

Some of this began to change when I started working through Rick Brinkman’s Life By Design, programme with a couple of friends. As we tackled our to do list I began to understand just how leak proof my life had become.

I had pages and pages brimming with everything I felt needed done. By comparison my friends’ lists barely filled half a sheet.  Not only was this shocking to me, I also felt exposed and embarrassed.

I never had any space in my life,  my days, weeks and months were filled with a hundred and one things pressing for my attention. The same level of urgency was assigned to each item so creating a never ending feeling of stress and anxiety. As a result I was constantly on the go,  never stopping,  never resting and certainly never ever creating any space.

 What is Important to You?

Rick asked us to work out what our values were, what in life was important to us. By building our lives around what we value, we have a way to measure how we spend our time.  If you’d like to find out more about Rick and his work you can download an excellent and humorous extract from his recordings on this page.

There’s nothing wrong with having a full life. However what fills that life is key to it’s quality. Our health and happiness depends on it.

 Our devices and screens, like our to do lists are always full, but are they full of what rally matters to us? Or are we filling our lives with low value experiences to avoid creating space.

Create Space

To create space can be troublesome, especially if we have not dealt with difficult stuff in our lives. Our unresolved issues and unrequited passions will come up to meet us when we create space.  Then we have to have courage to look at them. In Can You Face the Void? I offered some questions to consider, here are some more:

  • Who needs your attention?
  • What needs your attention?
  • Do you have unfulfilled passions?
  • Are you suppressing emotions?
  • Have you any unfinished business?
  • What are your limiting beliefs?
  • Do you have unhelpful or unhealthy behaviours.
We can meet all of this and more in the space we create.
This may be scary to some of you. Answering those questions can be challenging and that fear may stop you facing your truth, healing wounds or following passions. It it can stop you living a life you love.

 The Adventure

Facing our fears is a great call to adventure. When we create space we have a place in which to face and slay our dragons. It opens the gateway to a world of freedom we may never have known was possible.

My greatest adventure so far was brought on by a the huge empty territory created by ME/CFS.  I would never advocate such a massive raw space to anyone. Instead I encourage you to put down your device, switch of your screen, let go of your to do list and to venture into the space voluntarily.

Create some space, a place where you can at least take a peek and if you dare to, go a little further. You will learn more about who and how you are than you will ever learn by switching on, powering up or adding another thing to your list.

I dare you to do it:

  • Switch off all your devices.
  • Go sit somewhere and see what happens.
  • Who or what comes to fill the space?
  • Be with this, notice it, what does it want of you?
  • Journal it.
  • Discuss and explore it with a trusted friend or therpist.
  • Use EFT to help you explore your feelings.


“The great mission of our day is not conquering the sea or space, disease or tyranny. The grand quest which calls to the hero in every one of us is to become fully alive–to stand up and claim our birthright, which is inner freedom, love and radiant purpose. By fulfilling this, we transform the world.”
Jacob Nordby








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Categories: Change, Simpler

About the Author: Mairi

Radical Self Care Coach, supporting you to create a calmer, simpler, more deeply connected life where you take better care of yourself and our planet.


  1. Seana Smith August 12, 2017 at 2:08 am - Reply

    Spending time with our pets is a great way to enjoy some very quiet time and to feel part of something bigger… and gentler… love to see the kids (and me) sitting in the huge run with the bunny, just staring into space or chatting to the bunny.

    A way I create little bits of space is to slow down… to peg washing slowly, walk slowly, work slowly, wash up slowly… and with pauses at the start and finish. Just wee ways to make days feel quieter and less busy.

    • Mairi August 13, 2017 at 8:17 am - Reply

      Yes Seana, a great suggestion to just be with what is and animals and nature are great for this. Love the idea of simply doing everything slowly and with pauses. X

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