Expectations

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I would like to thank whoever made this picture I don’t know who they are so cannot give the credit I would like to.

Unless we look we may not even see the bars of the cages which confine us the expectations that actually rule our lives. They may be so embedded in us from our childhoods that they have become how we operate in the world. We are no-longer aware of our cage.

Layered on top of all the experiences from childhood are the expectations of the education system we experienced, the society we live in, any religious or other group we belonged to. Later books, TV and the internet start to create expectations about how life should be and how we should be and we let these run the show.

This is just how things are, it happens to everyone, no-one is to blame it’s how we humans do things. Lots of what we learn is helpful and supports us to grow and develop and live in the world but some of it limits and cages us, keeps us small and unable to be freely ourselves. Many of us never question the cage, we live out our whole lives in there, but for some it becomes uncomfortable. We may start to see the bars and wonder what life would be like without them.

Certainly for me this is one of my main driving forces for personal change, I want to know more and more about who I am and what choices I make when I am free, when I set-outside of my cage.
To break free we have to become aware, to lift the lid on ourselves and take a look at what lies below, the why of how we are in the world. You can read more about awareness here.

Ask yourself:

  • Why do I feel I have to do X, y or Z?
  • What do I fear will happen if I don’t?
  • Where did I learn that?
  • Is it actually true?
  • How do I know it is true?
  • What would happen if I did not believe it?
  • What could I believe instead that would serve me better?

In my experience this is challenging because our fears about what might happen if we don’t comply with these expectations keeps us trapped, and that is where techniques like EFT and Matrix Re-Imprinting are so useful. They can help us trace the origins of our fears and the expectations we live by. They help us clear the stuck energy from our earlier experiences that inform our behaviour today.

When I encounter a part of me that for example “Just CANNOT do something, or HAS to do something “, this is like a green light to my past, the way to something which has left me with emotional stuckness. Some fear, some expectation that was set in place which I now encounter as a wall, it feels real, visceral and like there is no choice.

There is always a choice, Change IS Always Possible, but we have to want it and be willing to do what needs done to have it.

One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.
Abraham Maslow

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